Arrival Questions
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Description
Three questions, always the same, always in the same order, asked every time you pick your child up from school or care. Specific and answerable - not "how was school?" but questions that actually get responses.
Play guide
- 1Choose three questions your child can answer reliably. Make them concrete and specific, not open-ended. Good examples - "What did you eat for lunch?" "Who did you sit next to today?" "What made you laugh?" Poor examples - "How was your day?" "Did you have fun?" - these invite one-word non-answers.
- 2Write them down somewhere you'll remember them. Try the same three for two weeks before changing anything.
- 3Ask all three, in order, every pickup - whether it goes well or not. Some days you'll get detailed answers. Some days you'll get one word each. Both count.
- 4After the three questions, let the conversation go wherever it goes - or end naturally. The three questions are the opening, not a full debrief.
- 5As your child gets older, update the questions to stay relevant. "What did you eat for lunch?" works for age 3; "What's something someone said today that you're still thinking about?" works for age 8.
Success signals
Your child starts answering the second question before you've finished asking the first. On difficult days they still answer - the predictability makes it easier to engage than an open-ended question that requires deciding what's worth sharing
If it's tricky
Child refuses to answer on some days: Ask just one question and let the rest go - the ritual continues at reduced form. The same answers come out every day (for example, "fine, bread, Kai"): Let it run without changing the questions too quickly - consistency is the point. Pickup happens via a helper or grandparent: Share the questions with them so the ritual is consistent regardless of who collects the child.